Student Local Observations: Meditation Time

Here are three very different takes on meditation and time.

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Recently my mind has been filled with chaos. Self-induced, of course; I tend to obsess over hypothetical situations that eventually end up crippling my mind. In order to contrast this, I have chosen to partake in meditation again. The act of meditating is so interesting to me because, for some, one minute of time in meditation holds the same worth as thirty minutes in a deep mind space. However, when I reflect on what five minutes of meditating feels like in comparison to five minutes of socializing with my friends, the difference in the feeling of time is immense. Five minutes in deep solitude of meditation feels as though time isn’t of worth. On the other hand, five minutes of interacting with my friends makes time feel like an obstacle, an obstacle that defines our conversation for the day. Thus, these two opposing ends of the spectrum of time benefit each other. Meditation rewards individuals in the future because the act of not regarding time as an obstacle allows one to be more present. Thus, I will be able to live more in the present without the worry of time if I continue to practice and go more in-depth with meditation.

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After spending about five minutes on the balcony, listening to music, I realized that the music felt longer when I was outside than when I usually play music inside. I realized this because the whole time I was outside, I was waiting for the music to end which really made me want to go inside due to the cold. When I got inside, I decided to meditate for sound for the same amount of time that I was outside. I then began to feel way more relaxed and time felt as if it was in my hands. The meditating felt really long even though it was only five minutes. This showed me that when you are doing something to benefit your mind and that allows your mind to be at rest, you really forget all your problems and time and just focus on yourself.

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My experience with time has felt so strange. In the past I was always rushing to the next thing and never contemplating my past or living in my present moment. It’s fair to say that was problematic. However, the way I experience time today isn’t much better! I feel so stuck in my past. I don’t think I’m the only one experiencing this, as quarantine has left so many missing the lives that they took for granted. There was so much in my life that I wasn’t consciously thankful for but should have been.

When I’m going through my day and completing my tasks or trying to sleep at night my memories intrude. I get a flash like you see in movies. Whether these flashes are good or bad, they send me into the depths of despair. These memories are like chains that drag me back into a past I can’t change. These moments have already been experienced and they rob me of my present.

For this local observation, I decided to set a timer for 5 minutes. During this time I let my mind wander wherever it wanted to. This is a trick that I learned in therapy! When you begin feeling emotions of sadness or anger, you must live through them and allow them to pass through naturally. Postponing them does not get rid of them. So, even though my 5 minutes brought up hard emotions and memories, I was more able to live the rest of my day in the present moment.